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Why we should stop using labels
The harm we cause by describing things poorly and how it traps us into repetitive and unhealthy thought patterns
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We’ve all done it at some point or another. Somebody pushes in front of us and we mentally call them an idiot. We read our favourite news site and nod along when someone is described as “woke” or “liberal” or “right wing”. At work, we might describe someone as “industrious” or “creative”. Yet how often do we stop to consider what these phrases really mean and how much better would our lives be if we stopped labeling things and started describing them in more constructive ways?
Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about this because I have a 5-year-old and they question everything. I was simultaneously horrified, delighted, and lost for words when I told my child “you were really good this weekend” and they immediately answered with “how was I good?”. After my freeze, I explained they’d been helpful in clearing things away for visitors and shared their toys with their guest. Then I started thinking.
In my 5-year-old’s case, they wanted to know what they had done that was good. Hopefully, so they could do more of it. As feedback, I failed the test of whether it was specific or not. I’d also set a poor example of both giving feedback and communicating…