How To Build a Thriving Relationship With Your Manager

An important factor to work with others is to not only care about your own needs but also what the other person wants

Credit: Author

What kind of relationship do you have with your manager? Is it a thriving one or are you barely surviving? Most people attribute a poor relationship with their manager to be the manager’s fault. If the relationship isn’t working, the manager must either be bad, uncaring, or downright incompetent.

Out of hundreds of things a manager is expected to do, maintaining a healthy relationship with their people is just one of them. And it’s true that a good part of a manager’s job is to invest time in their people and their growth. But a relationship isn’t a one-way street. You can’t have a healthy relationship with your manager unless you are invested in your own growth.

In my experience, people who excel at work don’t blame a poor relationship on their manager. They’re willing to do the work necessary to make it work. They understand that an important factor to work with others is to not only care about your own needs but also what the other person wants.

This is the key differentiator. When you’re willing to look beyond yourself to what your manager also wants, they see you as an ally. Your leadership abilities stand out. It’s a partnership and no longer a one-way street. They’re invested in you precisely because they see how much you want to make it work.

When you manage up well, your manager has to do less managing down. Put yourself in their shoes and think about their busy schedule. It’s a big relief to have someone else shoulder the responsibility. Someone who not only cares about succeeding but is also willing to share their pains.

When you think of your relationship with your manager as a partnership, it changes the game. You stop seeing success in isolation. Your work is no longer about your own goals, but also how they fit within the goals of your team and your organization. It’s a subtle shift that often comes with huge personal rewards and long-term gains.

People fail at managing up when they primarily look at their boss as leverage to…